Summer 19

It has been a hot second since I posted last. I’m still engaged (af) and excited about the next chapter in my life with my fiancé! After the engagement and the first few weeks of summer I gained what I like to call, “engagement weight“. It was one too many glasses of wine on the…

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No More FOMO

I have this fire burning inside of me. It’s telling me that “It’s okay to not be okay”. What I mean by that is, it’s okay to not have it all together. One of the reasons I started my blog was to show that it’s okay to be a work in progress and that yes,…

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Have You Ever Met an Old Soul?

She was an old soul who wandered through life never quite fitting in with the status quo. She valued quality conversations but not just any conversation. Tell her about the book you read that made you cry. Tell her about your favorite constellation in the sky and what stories you’ve made up to go along…

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All Black Everything

I have a love affair with black and white. It is classic, timeless, and goes well in any occasion. When I wear black it makes me feel sophisticated with a touch of mystique. I love mixing textures to add an element of surprise. In the photographed outfit I’m wearing I have on a white tweed…

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How I Kicked My Sinus Infection in 48hrs!

As some of you may remember, I was dying from a sinus infection that started on Monday. Between the stuffy nose, congestion, sore throat, and slight fever, I was in no shape to work.  I stuck out the day only to go home and lay in bed all night before passing out (thank you NyQuil)! …

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From Cocktails to Coffee and Everything in Between

When I was 11-16 I suffered from an eating disorder. I didn’t know how to manage the chaos that was my life: school, friends, boys, family, etc. The one thing I thought I could control was my weight. I suddenly became obsessed with losing weight. Not knowing much about exercise outside of P.E. class or…

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25 and Ready to Thrive

This morning I woke up as an official 25 year old. No longer the Birthday Girl with my imaginary crown on my head (I did get a real one to wear to dinner) but just another human being walking the streets of Chicago on my way to work. There’s this sense of magic when it’s…

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You Got the Job! Now What?

You never think about how much stress goes into starting a new job because the interview process is such a hurdle in itself. There’s the phone interviews and then the in-person interviews that you have to schedule around your current work hours without letting anyone realize you’re looking elsewhere in case you don’t get the job. Then you have to do your research on the company you’re interviewing with so that you can show you’ve done you’re homework. Then you have to dress the part, put on a smile, and answer all the questions sharply and precisely and hope they don’t look too closely at the gap in between jobs or the short stins at others. Then you have to wait for the “next step” or wait for the references to be called or wait for the background check to go through. Then after sleepless nights and constant anxiety. You get the call. You got the job. You did it!

You lay out your best outfit, you set your alarm clock an extra 15mins early so you can account for any unexpected travel issues, you prepare your breakfast the night before, you tuck yourself into bed to get a good night’s rest and then lights out.

The next morning you wake up excited feeling like it’s the first day of school eager to see who you’ll meet and make friends with. You walk into work and settle in at your next desk and log into your new work computer and get a brief tour of your new digs and after saying “Hi” to a few people you are back to your desk. The woman training you has a lot on her plate since the person you replaced retired and she promises she’ll show you some stuff when she gets a free minute.

 

So you sit and you wait.

 

It seems like no one tells you what to prepare for after you landed the job and start it. No one prepares you for the possibility that you won’t have much work to do because it’s a first-come-first-serve basis. You don’t know anything so you can’t really pitch in when you see people running around like chickens with their heads cut off. You smile politely and answer the phones but you know you were hired to do much more. Yet, everyone seems so busy or so bored you’re not really sure what to do.

 

So you got the job, now what?

 

It’s hard to start at a new work office because you feel like the new kid who transferred mid-semester and the teacher just kinda throws you in. When starting a new job just do your best to remember that they chose you. You deserve to be here because they saw something in you that they didn’t see in the other candidates. You may experience some imposter syndrome but remember, you are part of a team and people are there to support and root for you. You can’t expect to be an expert overnight! You just have to take it one day at a time.

 

You got the job, now own it!

Look Good AND Feel Good?

Fashion starts with the foundation of the body, mind, and soul. You can not be beautiful on the outside unless you are on the inside. No one ever really talks about what it takes to exude the overall package. So many people are willing to settle for the image of the girl in the Instagram…

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Sharing Spaces

This is my favorite topic to talk about because I never saw my life playing out this way! I moved into my first studio apartment when I was 24 and a month later my boyfriend moved in. At first it started out as only “a couple of weeks” which soon turned into months and then lo and behold I was fired from a job I never should have taken. My live in boyfriend became my saving grace (since I wasn’t charging him rent he took on the good deed of paying my rent for 3 months).

At first it was great having my boyfriend living with me. I got to wake up to him every morning and since we had only been dating for 6 months it certainly had that “newlywed bliss” couples experience after tying the knot and moving in together. However, we weren’t newlyweds and we certainly didn’t agree on everything but since it was my apartment my boyfriend chose not to voice a lot of his opinions. Wrong move. As a woman, I can sniff that shit out pretty easily.

It was trying at times when he would go to work and I’d be home splitting my time between applying for jobs and catching up on 8 season of Real Housewives of New York and waiting for him to come home and give me attention. Sounds juvenile but when you can’t afford to go out and roam around your new neighborhood you basically sit at home waiting for your bestie, as was in my case.

I definitely didn’t feel like myself in the months I wasn’t working. I treated it as positively as I could banking on the promise of a job around the corner. I focused on doing positive meditation and carrying my crystals with me as I found comfort in their energy and I also started working out and eating better. The space did get crowded having my boyfriend and I living in a 485sq ft studio apartment but the reason we make it work is because we love each other enough to know when to give each other space.

Luckily, my boyfriend and I are big readers. We are able to sit in silence reading a good book while sitting next to each other on the bed. We have a tv and I have an Amazon Firestick so we can watch Hulu and Netflix so we’ll watch the occasional documentary on healthy eating or the economy (he’s an economics major).

I will say at times when we argue it is harder for me to find a place to go and calm down when the only walls I have are that of my bathroom. It’s funny to think but most of our fights tend to happen at night so instead of walking out (which I’ve never been one to do) I usually find myself taking a shower to calm myself down.

In regards to the kitchen well that’s easy because my boyfriend is set in his ways of eating out constantly so often times I’m the only one who truly steps foot into the kitchen. It’s amazing to think that before I had my own place I never really cooked a lot. I always had my mom doing most of the cooking or I’d make something quick and easy to eat. Once I was on my own, and had limited funds without a job, I began to carefully pick my groceries so that I could make enough food to last me a few days. My boyfriend does tend to treat me to free meals here and there since I take on the burden of our lease but being able to rely on myself is always the main priority.

I love having a live in boyfriend but I never take it for granted. Luckily, we’re both pretty laid back and don’t argue much over the way certain things are. At the same time, this is my first apartment so of course, I’ve decorated it to my liking. All decked out in Parisian style. He’s brought it up out of concern, that if our relationship continues to progress and we decided to get a bigger place together, that I won’t decorate it as such. I’ve assured him that this is my play house and a place together will surly be decorated as a couple.

I never anticipated my boyfriend would move in not long after I did but I love having him around and it’s truly made me more accountable for my actions and also shown me that he is someone I am happy to have in my life. People always say NOT to live with someone until you’re engaged or married but I think it’s based on what feels right. If my boyfriend hadn’t moved in I’m sure we’d still be together but then I wouldn’t have someone to sleep next to at night and feel secure when I turn the lights out and go to bed. Society doesn’t have to dictate your path, only you and your feelings.